Last weekend, I did something really cool. I tagged along with my oldest son to our church's Middle School "Retreat." We caravanned through a rainy Atlanta rush-hour to a county park near the Alabama state line on Friday. We stayed in a group lodge that had seen it's better days. No one cared. Throughout the weekend, laughter was the most common sound. These kids, ranging in age from 11-13, taught me how beautiful life can be when you are FULLY present in the moment. That's the wonderful part of a "retreat" - we are removed from the ordinary distractions that compete for our attention and pull us away from the gift of the moments right in front of our faces.
I spent time with little girls who still keep diaries.
I spent time with little girls who still keep diaries.
I walked around the campgrounds with camera in hand, and I saw kids genuinely seeking God during designated "quiet times." Jeremiah 29:13 - You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Wait. That's not supposed to happen. I'm on a RETREAT. I'm not supposed to be focusing on anything except the moment at hand. But you see, watching kids run and jump and play - reminds me of my nephew who is in Baltimore recovering from yet another surgery. I feel guilty. I don't even know from which direction the guilt comes... is it because I had the audacity to laugh and enjoy the moment at hand - meaning I must not be a very devoted aunt? Or is it because I'm on a RETREAT and I'm not supposed to be letting my mind wander from the moment at hand - meaning I must not be a very good child of God?
These are classic signs of Satan. Guilt. He tries to steal our moments of joy. I recognize it, and offer my thousandth prayer of the day for Keaton - and get back to the moment, and to the joy. I remember that with God, it is possible to do BOTH... to be with Keaton in spirit AND be in the moment. My best friend and I have been discussing this verse of scripture lately: "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. Just three things. Three. (1) Be joyful. (2) Pray. (3) Give Thanks. I pray for God to help me DO those three things - RIGHT NOW, and I swallow hard and raise the camera once more toward the kids.
How can I NOT give thanks for boys climbing trees?
At night we huddled around the camp fire. One of those little girls in my cabin - with the diary and the pink sleeping bag and pink pjs and pink toothbrush and pink suitcase? She crawled into my lap and sat for a long time as we stared at the fire.
At night when the activities of the day subside, the mental battles begin in earnest. I think about the next MRI. And I wrap my arms tighter around the little girl in my lap... the girl with the long straight hair who has one foot in adolescence and one foot still in the land of pink. I stare into the fire and I pray a Warrior Prayer. It's my memory verse for the first half of January. I laugh out loud as I'm praying it because I suddenly realize WHY God focused my heart on this particular verse during this particular season. See if you can figure it out... "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle; you have recorded each one in your book. My enemies will RETREAT when I call to you for help. This I know, God is on my side!" - Psalm 56:8-9.
When thoughts and fears threaten to steal the joy of the moment - those fears become enemies. Why? Because GOD is IN THE MOMENT. When we mentally check out and allow the fear to the check in, we miss God. Did you notice that the pictures representing my thoughts of Keaton during the weekend are much larger than the ones from the park? That's how it works isn't it? The thing right in front of us pales in comparison to the size of the thing rattling around in our head. We need help with those enemies - the fear, the temptation to fret. They are too big for us.
One of my jobs for the weekend was to tell a few bible stories to the kids. We spent some time talking about that passage in Psalm 56. Being an incredibly creative group... they came up with a "signal", sort of like a secret handshake to help us remember the most important nugget of truth in that verse. This picture captures it. We fold our arms and rest them over to the side. "This I KNOW, God is on my SIDE!"
The folks in this picture bowed the head and the heart on Friday night and prayed specifically for Keaton. I've always believed it to be a very powerful thing when kids pray for other kids.
How did Keaton fare? At the time of this post, he's back home in Atlanta. His surgery to address some complications with his steel plate went great. He recovered quickly. He and his family stole some joy right out from under the enemy as they made the best of things in Baltimore. (Some non-institutional food was consumed, and that's all I'm going to say about it.) So, to keep it real... here's the bad news: Keaton has some ongoing swelling in his brain. The doctors have a new gameplan to address that. He also has an infection that needs to go away. We have antibiotics and plan to fight with the pill and fight on our knees.
Are your ready for the good news? The dreaded MRI results? The area of Keaton's brain that hosted the very first surgery back in August - the site of the largest tumor - that area is STILL cancer-free. AWESOME news. The remaining tumor we've been attacking with radiation, chemo, and warrior prayers? That tumor is DEAD. Can you still see remnants of it on the MRI? Yes. But it's dead as a door nail. We are in awe of the kindness of God!!
Are there still hurdles to jump? Yes. But TODAY - we celebrate and we choose to do THREE things. You know what they are.
We choose to focus on the size of our God and the fact that He is flexing His muscles on behalf of Keaton... rather than focus on the size of the remaining hurdles . And in making that CHOICE, our enemies will RETREAT.
