The Tale of 4 Kings and a Warrior Princess

I've been telling Bible Stories for years.  Nothing new about that.  What WAS new that hot summer day was seeing an eleven year-old girl pull out a journal and start taking NOTES during the story.  She was the youngest person in the room at our Bible Study, yet she took notes like a seasoned veteran.  (That was very generous of her and was simply an indication of her hunger for Jesus...not a testimony of my teaching prowess.)  We gathered that summer to open the scriptures together.  I remember being completely baffled that God had escorted ME into that arena.  You see... it was billed as a "Mother/Daughter" Bible Study.  We thought it would be great to take a different approach during this era of contemporary church, where families are often segregated by age group during worship.   We wanted to take a summer and just bring moms and girls into ONE room to study the same scriptures at the same time.  I thought it was an excellent idea, and wished them well with the endeavor.  I assumed, quite logically, that it was not a fit for me, as I happen to have NEITHER a mother or a daughter.  My mom died of cancer when I was just a kid, and God saw fit to give Keith and me two BOYS to raise.  So I attempted to bow out of the picture once we settled on the parameters for the study.

Nope.

Only God would choose ME to lead THAT study.  And so I did.  VERY clumsily.  In my living room were assembled a group of girls who were gifted in all manner of the Arts... theater, ballet, vocal performance.  The moms were former cheerleaders and current "ballet moms." (I don't THINK that's anything like the reality show "Dance Moms", but then again, I've never been backstage at the ballet.)  Fabulous.  Did I mention I've never been ANY of those things?  I'm an athlete.  I quickly realized that most of my planned illustrations were sports-related and were drawing completely blank stares from the attendees in the room.  We laughed ALOT and muddled our way through it.  Those girls challenged me as a teacher and helped me get better at it.  I'm grateful for that.

The youngest in the room, the aforementioned note-taker, had another curious trait.  Immediately upon arrival in my living room at each of our sessions, she wrapped her ENTIRE little self around my person.  These were not polite, obligatory hugs.  These were "I'm REALLY glad to see you" hugs.  (Just for your edification... sons don't typically do this, so I was a bit mystified at first.) Needless to say, those hugs became something I started looking forward to several hours before our gatherings.

That girl was Kylie Myers.  And today she went to live with Jesus forever.  My heart is broken.

I've written about Kylie on this blog in the past.  Her journey through childhood cancer intersected with Keaton's journey.  She wore his gray "Keaton's Warriors" bracelet and prayed for him long before we knew she would have a bracelet of her own someday.

She wore his bracelet and later, he wore her "Smiley for Kylie" t-shirt.  They had a few spa treatments in adjacent rooms on the Aflac Cancer floor at Scottish Rite Hospital.  Their parents hugged in that hallway NOBODY wants to occupy.  Keaton was in the audience at Kylie's last performance on the stage at Perimeter Christian School.  And on the day he received his biggest award, 2014 Positive Male Athlete of the Year in Georgia, he took a photo holding a Smiley For Kylie sign.  There were three professional football players applauding HIM.  But he was cheering for HER.  As Keaton walked off the Aflac floor for the last time at Scottish Rite, he stopped by Kylie's room to say goodbye.  He wasn't able to speak clearly, the tumors had already begun to rob him of his abilities, but he patted her on the leg and smiled down at her.  I'll never forget that moment as long as I live.

Today I believe that he was part of Kylie's Welcoming Party into heaven.  Keaton is first and foremost a worshiper, so I'm sure he stood at a respectful distance behind Jesus as Kylie was welcomed in.  He knows what all believers will find out firsthand someday... Jesus is the indescribably best part of heaven.  Being reunited with friends and family is great - but make no mistake - Jesus HIMSELF is the main attraction.

"The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp." - Revelation 21:23

But I don't believe Keaton is the only person at Kylie's "Welcome to Eternity" party.  I also believe that there are four Old Testament kings in attendance.  During that summer bible study, we dove deep into the stories of King Rehoboam, King Abijah, King Asa, and King Jehoshaphat.  We studied many aspects of their hard fought BATTLES.  (I know what you're thinking... "you chose to study WAR stories with a group of artsy girls?")  Yes.  Yes I did.  And now I know why. 

• King Rehoboam had things in his life that did NOT go the way he drew them up.
• King Abijah had to face an ambush that he was helpless to fight.
• King Asa learned to use his time wisely between battles.
• King Jehoshaphat had NO good options left to him and simply chose to head into battle singing praises to God.

We pulled principles out of those stories and learned how to apply Old Testament truths to twenty-first century problems.  We learned that although those kings faced seemingly insurmountable odds against PHYSICAL armies, we fight just as hard on this side of the cross... against things like fear and discouragement.  We watched what happened when those kings chose to rely on God, and our faith was bolstered.

I thought about that alot after Kylie was diagnosed.  I marveled that God led us through that bible study the summer BEFORE her diagnosis.  He KNEW the road ahead, and He went before us.  Did we struggle anyway?  Of course.  But we were armed with truth, and that made a difference.

Kylie worried during her cancer treatment that she wasn't being "tough enough."  Her little body struggled under the rigors of chemo and radiation.  It was rough - the roughest I've ever witnessed.  But every chance I got, I assured her that she was no longer just a princess... now she was an amazing Warrior Princess.  In fact, she fought so valiantly, I firmly believe those four kings we studied together showed up personally today - out of respect -  to welcome her home.  Scripture indicates that she'll recognize them, BY NAME.  (Remember the Transfiguration?  Peter knew Moses and Elijah.)  How utterly COOL is that thought?

I'm really going to miss you Kylie.  Thank you for listening to my Bible Stories and for hugging me and for showing me what real faith looks like on the battlefield.  Real faith isn't fearless.  Real faith DECIDES to plow through the fear and focus on Jesus.  You did that incredibly well, little Warrior Princess.  I love you, and I'll see you again someday at my OWN Welcome Home party!

"I heard a loud voice from the throne.  It said, 'Now God makes His home with people.  He will live with them.  They will be his people.  And God Himself will be with them and will be their God.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  There will be NO MORE death or sadness.  There will be NO MORE crying or pain.  Things are NO LONGER the way they used to be.  He who was sitting on the throne said, 'I am making everything new!'  Then He said, 'Write this down.  You can trust these words.  They are true.' " 

- Revelation 21:3-5 (NIrV)

What A Friend

For most of my journey as a Christian, I’ve had to take the nearness of God as a matter of faith.  For The Bible Tells Me So… that kind of faith.  I’ve had to rely on verses like “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (James 4:8) or “The LORD is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.” (Psalm 145:18) And then I’ve had to preach those verses to myself when doubts creep in and God seems distant.

I have a few friends, however; who’ve had a different kind of journey.  They speak of “crawling into the lap of Jesus” during their quiet times, and truly experiencing the closeness of Him.  Frankly, I’m a bit envious of those friends.  Plus, hearing them say those things makes me feel like I must be doing something wrong.  

It’s not that I’ve NEVER felt the presence of God in a way that gives me goose bumps – I’m just acknowledging that those times are the exception in my life and not the rule.

 

We aren’t promised in scripture that we will always FEEL the nearness of God.  I console myself with that phrase when my friends are seemingly being rocked to sleep by Jesus - while I toss and turn with hot flashes.

But every now and then, God chooses to surprise me with a gift of His nearness that is SO REAL and so personal, I find myself completely flabbergasted and at a loss for words.  I got one of those gifts last week.

I’m on an official “Prayer Team” at my son’s school.  We meet every Tuesday morning and we pray about all sorts of things… kids with cancer, kids with nightmares, kids without friends, kids recovering from abuse, parents that have lost jobs or spouses, and teachers who are weary.  We run the gambit.  It’s our custom to have a very brief devotional before we begin praying.  Last Tuesday it was my turn to do the devotional.  For some reason, God had been bringing lots of old hymns to my mind that week, so I decided that we’d sing one of those as our devotion time, rather than force everyone to listen to me prattle on and on. 

This is my 4^th year on the prayer team, and to the best of my knowledge, we’d never sung a hymn as the opening to our prayer time. I was excited.  I brought my old copy of the church hymnal from my childhood; the very one we used in the little country church in deep south Georgia.  My dad was the “song leader” at that church, so we had a personal copy of the hymnal at home.  But we didn’t really need it back then.  I knew most of those hymns by heart, as did my dad.  But today that hymnal is one of my most treasured possessions.  It’s old and worn, like my bible.

I had fun reminiscing as I flipped through it trying to select a single hymn for our group to sing.  There were so MANY good choices, but for reasons I can’t explain, I felt drawn to that old wonderful hymn, “What A Friend We Have In Jesus.”  

As soon as I saw it, I knew it was the right one.  The lyrics were rich and full and perfect for a Prayer Team. So, on Tuesday morning, we stood in a circle in the Prayer Room and we sang that hymn.  My heart was transported back to the long wooden pews of my childhood, and I longed for a simpler time… a time when I was blissfully unaware of the types of issues that flooded our school Prayer Room.

But the hymn concluded and our jobs as prayer warriors took center stage.  We had gathered primarily to pray for a beloved 12 year-old girl in our school, Kylie, who has been battling bone cancer since last April.  A critical scan was scheduled the following week, and we needed to intercede.

Maybe I’m still in the grieving process of losing Keaton at age 18, but for whatever reason – as I prayed, I did NOT feel the nearness of God.  I certainly wasn’t afraid to pray; nor was I convinced that since God did not spare Keaton in this life, he might not spare our sweet Kylie either.  Nothing of the sort.  My faith was still strong… my God just felt far away. 

The prayer service concluded and we went on our various busy ways.  A day or two later, I got an email urging a group to gather in Kylie’s driveway early Saturday morning to pray again.  The email was sent mainly to Kylie’s “drama family.”  She’s been active in theater practically since she could walk, so this gathering consisted mostly of her fellow thespians and their parents.

 

We huddled in the cool morning temps, clad in our sweatshirts and jeans and we waited for a moment in silence – we felt the gravity of the situation and we simply leaned into the weight of it for a minute.  As I glanced around our circle, I was moved by the kids who had turned out to pray for their friend.  I was struck that they were not running away from hard things.  As my eyes made their way around the circle, I noticed one lady that I did not recognize.  That’s unusual in a school our size.  I didn’t dwell on it too long, I was just glad people were there to pray.  And so we began.

The prayers were of the usual sort… for healing and comfort, - and for God’s nearness to be felt by Kylie and her parents.  But then the lady I hadn’t recognized began praying.  Her prayers were different.  They were incredible. She prayed for things that only an “insider” to cancer treatment would know to pray for… that God would provide PET scan technicians with a sense of humor, ones who really loved kids and didn’t show up just to get a paycheck.  Things like that.  I felt gratitude well up in my heart that she had joined us.

I admit it, I took a peek at her across the circle while she was praying.  I noticed that she wore a hat.  It was a chilly morning – but not the "gloves and hat" kind of chilly.  I began to put two and two together and realized who this lady must be.  She was a good friend of a good friend, but I had never met her.  She IS an insider to cancer treatment, and I thought it was really cool that someone going through that would get up early on a Saturday to pray for someone ELSE going through it…without drawing any attention to the fact that she could probably use some prayers herself.

But it’s what happened next that I’ll never forget.

At the conclusion of her prayer, the lady in the hat began to sing softly into our circle.  She sang a hymn.  Care to guess which one?  What A Friend We Have In Jesus.  I haven't sung that hymn in YEARS. The church my family and I attend uses more contemporary songs for worship, so the old hymns seldom make it into our Sunday mornings.  

My knees felt weak and I found myself crouching down to the pavement.  I realized that I was the only person in the circle that Saturday morning who had also been at the Tuesday morning Prayer Team.  Do you understand what that means?

It was for ME.  God orchestrated that particular moment for ME.  He wanted me to know that He WAS near and that He knew I needed to sense it deep in my bones.  Tears welled up as I pondered the sheer kindness of God. 

I’ll bet that lady knows LOTS of hymns.  I won’t let anyone snatch the joy of that moment from me by trying to convince me that it was all a big coincidence.  I stopped believing in those decades ago.

God is ALWAYS near, but sometimes He chooses to make sure we are acutely aware of it.  I’m so grateful that He does.  Do I wish He would do that more often?  Yes, I do.  But I reckon He knows what’s best, and I’m certain that He is FOR me.  I’ll rest in that for now.

As for Kylie, her scan was pretty good news.  We’re still battling, but the tumors are no longer growing.  The next step is to watch them disappear.  Please God, let it be so.  If you’d like to follow along and throw your prayers into the circle for Kylie along with us, you can access her CaringBridge page at: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kyliemyers.

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you." - Psalm 143:8

Obscure Paths

So we’ve been doing some hiking lately.  I’m talking legitimate hiking… not just a stroll in the park on the designated “nature trail,” which winds between exactly three oak trees, a wild fern and a nice park bench.  No siree, we’ve been doing the real thing.  We even bought a book that maps out trails, and describes them in great detail.

We’re learning as we go.  The book can be a tad deceptive.  One thing we’ve learned is that all miles are NOT created equal.  Sometimes it’s a challenge to FIND the trail to even begin the hike.  On one outing in particular, the hiking book instructed us to turn off the main highway onto another road and drive 4.5 miles to the trailhead.  Simple enough.  Except it wasn’t.  That PARTICULAR 4.5 miles took us about 25 minutes to traverse!  It was a dirt and gravel road with lots of potholes and bumps.  Our innards were scrambled by the time we reached the trailhead. 

Other times the hiking book is very straightforward.  Some trail descriptions contain the word “bushwhack.”  It might as well substitute the words “DON’T BE AN IDIOT!”  Our group is not up for any bushwhacking. We’ll leave those trails to you more adventurous Macgyver-type folks. 

But other times, the book leaves room for interpretation.  We decided to try one recently where the trail description started out fairly simply.  But then it mentioned “fording a creek” and continuing on an “obscure footpath.”  “Hmmmm.  How bad could it be?” we wondered.  We’re fairly observant people.  Surely someone in our group could detect an  “obscure” footpath.  So off we went.

We encountered our first problem before we ever got out of the car.  About halfway down the last road that led to the start of the trail, we ran smack into this obstacle:

And that’s when God started opening my eyes to the similarities between our hiking trails and our real life trails, particularly the trails that lead us through grief.

There are days when it’s just easier to give up when little obstacles are thrown in our path.  It’s much harder to muster the strength to go over them.  I think God understands that.  That’s why He offers us HIS strength for the taking.  I love that He told Gideon in Judges chapter 6, “Go in the strength that you HAVE (which wasn’t much.)  Surely I will be with you.”  In order to appropriate God’s strength in that situation, Gideon had to crawl out of his hole and move forward.  God did the rest.  So it is with us.

So on this day, our group parked the car, got out and covered the last mile on foot before reaching the trailhead.  I’m so glad we did.  We encountered beauty we would not have otherwise seen if we had given up.

We arrived at the trailhead only to discover that it was very different from any one we’d ever done before.  Most of our hikes had been on pristine, well-manicured trails.  We were expecting something like this:

We got this instead:

We soldiered on.  We went over some obstacles, under others, and around still more.  It began to be more of a personal challenge than a leisurely hike.  We used muscles we hadn’t used in awhile.  Those muscles protested at the time… but we know they’ll be stronger for it in the end.  That’s how challenging seasons in life ARE.  We crave the ease of the trails we remember in the past.  We complain that the current one is too hard.  But as long as we keep MOVING forward, God does something rather incredible.  He makes us stronger for life.  We become people of greater substance. 

Would we trade all that “substance” in a heartbeat for the ease of the former pristine trail?  Probably.  Good thing that’s not an actual option.  The only two options are (1) Keep moving and get stronger or (2) Sit down on the trail you’re ON, and get stuck there.  I don’t know about you… but I prefer option one.  It’s bear season ya know; sitting down may be easier, but it has its disadvantages too.  Scripture describes the bear as a “roaring lion prowling around seeking someone to devour.”  No thanks.  I’ll do my best to keep moving ahead.

We also learned on this particular hike that the definition of “obscure footpath” really is:  “you’ll never know if you are actually ON the trail or not.”  We finally got tired of looking and just started walking.  Do YOU see a footpath anywhere???

In my opinion, these are the hardest seasons in life… times that are so confusing, you’re not sure WHAT trail (if any) you’re actually on.  One day gives way to the next and you wonder if what you’re doing makes any difference in the world at all or whether it is getting you ANYWHERE.  If you could SEE a better path, you’d take it… but there is none in your field of vision.  What do you do THEN?

Well, I don’t know exactly.  I can only tell you that I’ve been on “obscure trails” like that a few times in my life, and what seems to work best for ME is to simply let God know how I’m feeling.  To be honest, sometimes it seems that my prayers just drift off into thin air.  But here’s the thing… I find that nothing actually IMPROVES by stubbornly NOT praying.  So I pray, whether it FEELS powerful in the moment or not – or whether the path before me becomes supernaturally pristine in an instant, or not.  Usually it doesn’t.  But in my confusion, God gently reminds me that He’s working even when I can’t SEE it.  The only issue is whether or not I will trust it.  A verse that has come to mean a lot to me is found in Isaiah 50: “Let he who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God.”  Obscure footpaths feel a lot like walking in the dark.

Occasionally, God breaks through that darkness with some tangible encouragement.  He did that for our family last night at Flowery Branch High School.  I really have no words to adequately express how well that public school has loved our family.  I’ll simply say this: I’ve never seen it done better anywhere on the planet.  In the off chance any of you from that community are reading this… please know that we are grateful and are flat out BLOWN AWAY by your love.  Y’all are the best, and we will be Falcons forever.

It was the annual “Gold Out Game”, raising money and awareness for childhood cancer.  At a pregame ceremony, gold and white balloons were released in honor of those in the fight and in memory of those, like Keaton, who were no longer with us.  

Then, Keaton’s #70 jersey was retired.  That number will never again be worn at The Branch.  The team and coaching staff presented Miles and Sharon with a framed jersey to commemorate the occasion.  All very touching, and we will treasure that jersey forever.

But none of that made me cry.  That came later.

Traditionally, the team runs onto the field through the end zone, where the cheerleaders have formed a “spirit line” with a HUGE paper banner raised, seemingly two stories high.  The amped up football team always bursts onto the field of play THROUGH the now-shredded banner to the applause of the fans and to loud music blaring through the speakers.  It’s a festive environment for the home team! 

We waited expectantly.  The banner was raised high and waiting.  It was a great banner honoring the memory of Keaton, as you can see from the photo below.

Before the team approached the end zone from the locker room, something rather incredible and out of the ordinary happened.  A helicopter descended onto the field from the opposite horizon.  It hovered low over the field, around the 50 yard line.  Painted on the side of the helicopter was the number 70.  Seriously?  A HELICOPTER?  I couldn’t believe it!  I snapped photos as fast as my camera would cooperate.

I was awed, and it came awfully close, but even that’s not what made me cry.

The atmosphere was more subdued than usual – perhaps the crowd was impacted by the helicopter as I was… just sort of dumbfounded and wowed.  Then the team appeared from the locker room.  They lined up behind the banner, looking as vast as an army.  The crowd applauded, but the team then did something very unusual.  And THAT, ladies and gentlemen,  is what made me cry.

Rather than run wildly THROUGH the banner as tradition dictates, they walked up to it… then respectfully walked AROUND it, single file, refusing to destroy ANYTHING with the name “Keaton Coker” written on it.  The moment was so utterly FILLED with honor and class that I was completely undone.  I could no longer hold my camera steady to take pictures.  I simply stared at the team in disbelief and amazement, and I flat out wept.  I cried because I miss my nephew, but I also cried because he was so obviously well loved.  Isn’t that the mark of a life well lived?

One more discovery awaited us.  The team had warmed up in their regular uniforms.  But a quick trip to the dressing room enabled them to change those regular jerseys for special gold ones.  They weren’t special because they were gold, although that was cool.  They were special because each and every player's jersey was emblazoned with the name “Coker” on the back.  Incredible.

There were other special touches during the evening... too many to list in a blog post that's already twice as long as it should be.  Things like this:

Did the “obscure path” that our family is walking suddenly become pristine after the football game last night?  No, it didn’t.  But today we continue our journey through grief with fresh encouragement.  Today we feel stronger and we are more able to “trust in the name of the LORD, and rely on our God.”

Thank you Flowery Branch High School for an incredible evening.  We love you, but most of all, we're grateful for the way you loved Keaton.

Not everybody gets a helicopter when they need some encouragement on an obscure path.  But God hears every prayer... and the God who goes to prepare a place for us, won't leave us without a way to get there.  Ask Him if you need encouragement.  I think He's good for it.

Keaton's Letter, Page 1

It was an incredible Celebration of Life Service wasn't it?  (We flatly refuse to call it a funeral... that's a term that doesn't fit the legacy that Keaton left!)  It has taken me a couple of weeks to reflect on it all, and gather the courage to write this post.  Dang, we miss our boy don't we?

At the service, we were reminded from Scripture (2 Corinthians 3) that God is STILL in the letter-writing business.  The bible is complete in every way, but the author of it continues to write.  Instead of paper and ink, He now uses the lives of His followers as His letters. The more we "follower-types" align our decisions and behaviors with the bible, the more impact our "letters" will have on a hurting world.  Blogs are great.  Twitter is great.  I'm told Facebook is great.  But those things don't write our letters.  The decisions we make and the actions we take write the letters.  Our intentions get NO press whatsoever.

God wrote an AMAZING letter to the world through Keaton's life.  I thought I'd take a stab at writing down some of the things I read in that letter.  Perhaps reading a few of my observations will prompt YOU to write down one or two that YOU read in Keaton's letter. Together, we'll piece it together bit by bit. Today, I'm just starting with page one.

Dear World,
My name is Keaton - not Karson.  Karson is my big brother.  He's ridiculously talented.  You know how people are supposed to be EITHER right-brained OR left-brained?  It just so happens, Karson is both.  He's a brainiac, and he's artistic, and he's a mechanical genuis.  That's a hard act to follow - so I never tried.  The bible says that God put ME together in a very intentional way. (Psalm 139). So I figured if God went to the trouble of thinking me up on purpose, the least I could do to repay Him is actually BE me.  I really love my brother, and I loved that even after he got married, he still made sure he and Calah had plenty of time for me.  So even though Karson is an amazing person, what a waste it would have been of MY life to try to be just like HIM.  Besides, I was pretty awesome, don't you think?

My name is Keaton - not Kanler.  Kanler is my other big brother.  He's an athletic beast, AND a really nice guy. Karson and I both loved sports as much as Kanler did, but for some reason, God put more athlete juice in Kanler than He did us. (We NEVER admitted that out loud - ESPECIALLY to Kanler.  NEVER!  That would go against the code of brotherhood bashing.)  But the truth is, Kanler had more trophies in his room by the time he was 5 than I could amass in a lifetime.  So even though I loved playing football WITH Kanler, I didn't try to be him either.  (But let's be clear...if you tried to tackle my QB brother... I made you pay.  Nobody got to do THAT to him except ME.) So instead of trying to be just like Kanler, do you know what I did instead?  I had the audacity to believe that God told the TRUTH in Ephesians 2... that not only did He think me up on purpose, He planned some stuff for ME to do in the world that might be different that He planned for Kanler.  So if I spent all my time trying to be just like Karson, or just like Kanler... I'd miss out on the things God had planned just for ME.  Hey, you want to know something funny?  NOW, both of my brothers want to be like ME!  That cracks me up!

My name is Keaton and even though Hollywood and the Disney Corporation take every opportunity to portray parents as complete idiots, I want you to know that it's okay to actually love your Mom and Dad and have fun hanging out with them.  I don't regret one single minute I spent with them.  Not one single minute.  I'm one of the lucky ones.  My parents are incredible, so they were easy to love.  Frankly, yours may NOT be so easy to love.  But here's something I learned:  when I chose to love and respect my parents - consistently, THEY became better people because of that love.  You should try it.  When God lives in your heart... He makes it possible to love people who aren't that lovable.  HE does it through you.  

My name is Keaton and I'm not embarrassed to say "I love you, bro" to my close friends.  Don't be so full of yourself that you think you're too cool for that stuff.  You KNOW you want to hear it.  So why not start it?  I dare you football players to try it this year... especially my O-Line brothers.  Say it when you leave practice.  Say it after you win a game, and especially after you lose a game.  God says that the world will know we're His followers... not by how often we make it to church and youth group, and not even by how often we're seen totin' our bible... the world will know based on how well we love each other.  Maybe I'm over-simplifying it, but SAYING it just seems like a pretty easy place to start.

My name is Keaton, and I think whining is a big fat waste of time.  Trust me on this one, "time" is something you have in limited supply.  I'm not too high on feeling sorry for myself either, just in case you're wondering.  I happen to believe God is good ALL the time.  I believe it because the bible TELLS me He is good.  I do NOT wait to see how my day is going to play out before I decide whether or not God is good TODAY.  He's good ALL the time. I don't really know why I got brain cancer.  I don't think I did anything wrong.  I don't think my parents fed me the wrong stuff when I was little.  I don't think it's because I occasionally rode my bike without a helmet when my mom wasn't watching.  I just think stuff like cancer happens in our world.  And for reasons we may never know until Jesus comes back, God didn't STOP it in my case.  He could have.  But He didn't.  It was part of the stuff He had for ME to do that He didn't plan for Karson or Kanler.  I tried my best to show you guys that even though I had cancer, and had to do some things before school and on weekends that YOU didn't have to do (you know... like chemo and radiation and a few brain surgeries and various and sundry hospital stays) - God was making me strong enough to handle it... and still be fairly normal.  I did that pretty well, didn't I?

My name is Keaton, and although I didn't talk about it out loud very much... sometimes I DID feel fear.  The world will try to make you feel like you're not a real man if you're ever afraid.  That's a lie.  Everybody feels afraid sometimes.  But REAL men (and real women) know where to go and what to do when they feel afraid.  Me?  I was one of those real men.  I read my bible, and it made me feel stronger.  And know this, I didn't always know HOW to read my bible on my own. Church helped some.  But what REALLY helped were smaller groups.  A thing God used to teach me a TON was DiscipleNow Weekends.  You should ask my brothers or my parents about it if you're interested.  It was during those weekend retreats when I learned HOW to use my bible to actually HELP me when I needed some help.  I just took notes right on the pages of my bible.  I knew I'd probably lose little journals or notebooks, but I knew there was NO WAY I was going to lose my bible.  

After my Celebration of Life service, my family gathered around the kitchen table and read some of those notes I had in my bible.  I think it made them feel better.  Here's a zoomed-in shot of that picture above... it's one thing that helped my family ALOT when they read it.

 My handwriting was always terrible, so let me interpret for you!  The note says: "When things are bad for me, look at 2 Timothy 4:6-8."  Now why did reading that make my family feel better?  Sometimes, I think my family wondered if I even really understood how serious it was to have brain cancer.  Of course I did.  I just didn't talk about it much because that wasn't my style.  But during those times when I actually felt a little bit afraid, the words of 2 Timothy 4:6-8 made me feel peaceful.  Here's what it says:

"For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure.  I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, - and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

That's an awesome passage.  On hard days, I kept asking myself: "Keaton, did you fight the good fight today - or were you wimpy?  Did you hang on to your faith - or did you doubt that God was stronger than cancer?  Did you quit or did you finish the drill?"  As long as my answers to those questions lined up with the blue verses, I could kick fear to the curb and get back to being the laid-back dude I was born to be!  Strength isn't the absence of fear.  Strength is overpowering fear with truth.

My name is Keaton, and I discovered something really cool.  I found out that when I focused on helping OTHER people or blocked for OTHER people or prayed for OTHER people... I felt joy.  That's in the bible you know.  I learned it first from watching my parents and then I learned it at church.   The world tells you to "look out for number one."  That's certainly one way to go - but it's complete crap.  The bible says it this way in Philippians 2:4 "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."    It's your life, but I can guarantee that the blue words work.  Joy happens.  Test it out.  I had cancer, but one of the things that kept me from getting really depressed about that was focusing on OTHER people.  I prayed for my friends and family.  I visited a younger kid who had cancer... a little girl named Kylie.  (Ya'll keep praying for her, ok?)  Here's the deal:  An outward focus leads to inner joy.  That'll tweet.

My name is Keaton, and now that I'm in heaven - I can tell you a secret: I was actually a prophet while I was on earth.  Who knew?!?!  Here's the proof.  On the last page of my bible, I wrote these words:

  Now that I'm hanging out with Jesus every single day... I know for SURE that the words I wrote on the last page of my bible were absolutely TRUE!  He was worth every dose of chemo and every doctor visit.  He was worth every stinkin' MRI on my big body in that little tube.  He was worth every needle prick.  He was worth all 30 of those radiation treatments.  He was worth losing all my hair and then having it grow back funny.  He was worth seizures and losing my legal right to drive my dang new car. He was worth every every every thing!!  The bible talks about it formally in 2 Corinthians 4, but the Keaton-translation is simply: HE IS WORTH IT!  If you don't believe it yet - or you aren't sure - go talk to my big brother, Karson, who happens to be a pastor.  He knows it too.  He even got it tattooed on his arm.  THAT is a sign of being SURE!  (Cool tat bro!)

Well... I think that's probably enough for page one.  Ya think?  So here's what I'd love for you to do.  If you have an observation to include in the letter that God wrote to the world through Keaton's life, email it to me at marybethcook@bellsouth.net.  Put "Keaton's Letter" in the subject line and start your email with "My name is Keaton..."  When/if I get enough from you guys for Page Two... I'll add it to the blog.  I think Keaton's parents would really love it.  

At the candlelight service at Flowery Branch High School on the evening of July 18th, the coach made reference to the way Keaton stayed positive - even when he couldn't get his words out because of the tumors.  During those times, Keaton replied with a "thumbs up."  The football team will be using that hand signal this season.  A friend of our family, Kathe Nelson, who was at that candlelight service - sent me this photograph.  I thought it a fitting way to end Page One.  No matter what life is throwing at you... keep your knees prayerfully bent, your attitude faithfully positive, your focus on others, and your thumbs UP!  He's worth it y'all.  He is.

Just Another Day

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."- Psalm 139:16 (NIV)

Thank you God, for 6,858 incredible days with Keaton Franklin Coker.  He was a gift, and it was an honor to love him.  

There's no such thing as "just another day."  Make each one count.  Keaton did exactly that.

October 5, 1995 - July 15, 2014

Sunrises

Sometimes in life there are seasons when NOTHING seems to make any sense.  Days that used to seem routine and orderly are suddenly thrown completely off balance.  A cancer diagnosis, for example, will usher in a season like that.  

At first, you scramble to get your bearings.  You try to understand.  You try to SEE through the fog.  You wonder where God is and how He could have let something like this happen.  Because afterall… you were doing life the RIGHT way:  hardworking, tax-paying, church-attending, dinner-together-as-a-family.

But slowly, the shock wears off and you begin to grasp your new reality.  Things that seemed hard and inconceivable begin to take shape.  You shift your question.  Instead of asking “WHY God?” you dare to let yourself ease into acceptance mode and ask “Ok, what NOW God?”  

Slowly, you begin to let yourself breathe again.  You THINK that maybe – just maybe – there is purpose, and perhaps you are even beginning to imagine what that purpose might be. There are rays of hope, and little by little, momentum begins to swing back into your camp.  You’ve weathered some setbacks, but a big breakthrough comes.  You get accepted into the best clinical trial in the country for your type of cancer.

But then there is a curveball. 

I love getting up early on our family beach trips.  I love having the beach to myself in the still of the morning.  I love that a sweatshirt feels good at 6:30am.  I love feeling the wind in my hair and tasting the salt from the breezes.  But mostly, I love to watch God paint a sunrise.  No two are alike.  His nature is infinitely artistic.  

This morning I watched as He began by simply stroking the colors of dawn onto the canvas. There was no particular shape.  Sometimes when I arrive on the sand, there are NO clouds.  On those mornings, I know I am in for a real treat.  The sunrise will be unfettered and spectacular.  Those are my favorites.

This morning, however, there was ONE cloud.

  

ONE.  

And it was in the exact spot where the sun was going to crest the horizon. Why would He deliberately block my view like that?

So I asked Him. 

He began to whisper, “sometimes in life there are seasons when NOTHING seems to make any sense…”

And then I watched as He formed the cloud into a shape.  To me, it looked like a manatee or perhaps a whale.  Definitely a sea creature with a whale-like tail sticking out of the water off to the left.   Then He painted the edges of the sea creature with dazzling orange light.  I laughed.  God was playing with His Lite Brite set.

I felt myself relaxing as I sat on a towel in the sand.  A jogger ran by with headphones at full blast, seemingly unaware of the Master at work.

Next God turned on His floor spotlights.  GIANT rays of light fanned out from the sea-creature-cloud straight up into the air.  

Then God posed a question to ME.  “These rays I just added give you hope, do they not?  Even though a cloud is blocking your view of the big orange ball cresting the horizon… the rays give you hope don’t they?”

“Well, yes.  I suppose they do.”

“Why?”

“Because the rays come from the source, so the source must not be far off.”

Then He brought a portion of scripture to mind. “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” – 1 Corinthians 13:12

For reasons that are difficult to grasp, Keaton has not responded to the new drug that was rumored to be the most promising thing on the horizon for his type of brain cancer.  A recent MRI provided medical proof that the cancer has the upper hand.  Thus, he is no longer a participant in the Clinical Trial.  They dropped us like a hot potato.  

So what's next?  It's very simple.  We continue to pray for a miracle and we continue to ask God to open the next door of treatment for our boy.  It just so happens that we don't know exactly what that is right now.  There's a big cloud blocking our view.

It is hard to see clearly right now, but we have great peace.  We do.  We have seen the rays, and we are confident that the Source is not far off.

Keep praying for Keaton.  And keep believing that even though we see dimly now… the day IS coming when we will see a new dawn crest the horizon.  Some believe that when that day comes, we will FINALLY get all our "WHY?" questions answered.  Perhaps they are right.  But I tend to believe that when that day comes, we will find the Source of our Hope so dazzling and so amazing... the whys won't matter much anymore.  None of them.

That Which Doesn't Kill You...

That which doesn’t kill you… nearly kills those around you.  Although that’s not the original version of the quote credited to the German philosopher Nietzche, it’s a more accurate one in our lives at the moment.  I’ll try to explain what I mean.

By way of general update, Keaton has graduated from high school and from “traditional” medicine.  We are now in the twilight zone of “experimental” medicine.  He’s participating in a pediatric clinical trial at Emory, rumored to be the most promising thing on the horizon in the fight against brain cancer.  We are incredibly thankful that God opened the door for him to be part of that trial.  Someday when the energy level is higher, I will share the God story with you of the miracle that secured Keaton a spot in that highly-sought-after trial.   But for today, I will simply update you on things in general and urge you to renew your prayers for Keaton.

The fact that he was accepted in to a pediatric trial is a HUGE blessing.  You see… unlike clinical trials in the adult world, NO patient in a pediatric trial is ever given a placebo.  That’s the good news.  The bad news is that our 18 year-old O-Lineman is a tad large for the facilities.  Note the position of his feet relative to the end of the bed.  :-) 

The clinical trial Keaton is participating in contains STRONG medicine.  Our boy who played football all throughout chemo and radiation for two straight seasons, has now been temporarily sidelined by the new drugs.  Apparently, drugs that are strong enough to obliterate brain tumors don’t treat the rest of the person delicately.  It is a hard thing to see.  While I could write paragraphs about the specifics of Keaton’s current struggles, I choose to simply convey to you that it is a difficult season of treatment.  Now you understand the modified quote at the beginning of this post. It is hard on Keaton and it is hard on those who love him. 

So what should we do when the things our eyes SEE do not match what our belief system SAYS?  We have to make a choice.  We have to pick one or the other.

Most of us can quote the scripture from 2 Corinthians 5:7 “We walk by faith and not by sight.”  It has rolled off our tongue effortlessly for years.  There are bumper stickers extoling it, right beside the metal Jesus fish on cars throughout the Bible Belt. 

If only it were as easy to truly live it as it is to say it.

 

The truth is, even when we ARE trying to walk by faith… we trip and stumble and run into brick walls of doubt.  But thanks to amazing grace, God doesn’t require PERFECT faith – even faith as small as a mustard seed is sufficient.  Faith that cries, “I believe!  Help me with my unbelief” is sufficient.

When I find my faith steps clumsy and the brick wall large, I love the comfort offered in the first couple of verses of Psalm 40.  In the NET translation it reads:

I relied completely on the LORD, and he turned toward me and heard my cry for help.  He lifted me out of the watery pit, out of the slimy mud.  He placed my feet on a rock and gave me secure footing.

He has the power to help me when I’m stumbling.  He has the power to help me get around the brick wall of doubt.  He doesn’t do it by PROMISING me that He will heal Keaton completely in this life.  I still hold out hope for that, but it isn’t a promise.  He helps me navigate the brick wall by reminding me of His character.  He is good.  He hears my cry for help. I don’t know why Keaton is suffering right now… but I know it ISN’T because God doesn’t love us.  The cross settled that once and for all.  

It’s vacation time for us.  As we traditionally do each year, we will be traveling to the beach with nearly 50 members of our extended family.  Last year we rejoiced because we had Keaton at the beach with us, and he was full of life and energy!  This year, he and the rest of his immediate family, won’t be able to join us.  Will it be sad?  Yes.  But as I was pondering the sadness of that, God gave me a different way to view it.  It’s a fast of sorts.  Traditional fasting means that we do without food for a short season in order to seek God in a more urgent way.  Churches today often encourage “Media Fasting” where we do without TVs and computers for a short season in order to seek God in a more urgent way.

This year I will apply that fasting principle to Keaton’s absence on our family beach trip.  When the sadness of missing him threatens to overtake the joy… I will be intentional about turning that moment into a prayer for Keaton.  It’s a choice. 

Scripture reminded me this morning of the importance of prayer.  In the beginning of Luke’s gospel, the angel Gabriel visited Zechariah the priest.  Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth were childless in their old age.  The words of Gabriel struck me afresh this morning.  “Do not be afraid Zechariah; your prayer has been heard.”

So I had this thought… “What if Zechariah had merely worried about his childless state?  What if he had spent ALL his energy being depressed and bitter?  WHAT IF ZECHARIAH HAD NOT PRAYED?”

That thought alone re-energizes my desire to continue praying for Keaton.  We will still make sand castles this year at the beach… but I’m not going to lie to to you.  This year the sand won’t be full of color.

Some seasons in life are like that.  In those times, we walk by faith and not by sight.  Perfectly?  No.  Even Zechariah THE PRIEST did not do it perfectly.  At one point Gabriel said to Zechariah: "because you did not believe my words..."  When we stumble, God will pick us up if we continue lifting our eyes UP.  "I lift my eyes up to the hills.  Where does my help come from?  My help comes from The LORD."  Keep praying for Keaton.  It matters.